BLOOD TRAIL: Boredom-Day 14

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Boredom-Day 14

Boredom-Day 14

I know that I’m getting ever closer to that magic age when those of us who have been active throughout our lives are supposed to slow down and take it easy (retirement) but I wasn’t prepared for the reality of being off for an extended period. I recently broke my foot while doing my pre-trip preparation at work. The doctor said that the type of break I had would be a career ending injury for a professional athlete, (Good thing I’m not a professional athlete.) and that surgery would be required for my foot to heal properly. Well, as some of you know, there isn’t a simple process to get the medical and short term disability benefits started. Since it happened at work I had to go through all the Workers Comp rigmarole so that helped prolong the process. In any case it looks like I’ll be off work for almost ten weeks. That’s a lot of time. I find my unoccupied mind wandering from thought to thought and topic to topic. Every once in a while it lands on something.

[I compare this process to the actions observed when flies hitch a ride on a manure spreader. When the manure spreader hits a bump they all get up and fly around for a while and land somewhere completely different but still on the manure spreader. (A similar behavior happens with people in corporate management and in government.) I guess that since I am the first person that I know of to record this phenomenon I get to name it. I’m trying to figure out what to call it. Here are some of the possibilities: “Manure Spreader Effect”, “Bumped Fly Syndrome”,” Hodges’ Distraction Paradigm”.]

But I digress…

The other day while my unoccupied mind was flying around I finally figured out why Valerie has been burning the microwave popcorn. It seemed that my darling lovely wife was having trouble completing this simple task without setting off the smoke detectors. You’re just supposed to put the bag in, close the door, push the “POPCORN” button, press the “START” button, wait until the microwave beeps, and take out the popped bag and enjoy…Right??? I even accused her of using the smoke alarms as timers. Obviously there is a missing factor at work here. Why is the popcorn burning even though published procedure is being followed? This was just the sort of puzzle I needed to occupy my mind. Upon closer examination I found what appears to be the underlying cause. It seems that there are more than two sizes of microwave popcorn bags. We thought there were only two sizes 1.2 and 3.5. Someone in the Microwave Popcorn Cartel (MPC) has decided to package their delicious snack in an intermediate 2.4 oz. size bag without telling the Microwave Oven Cartel (MOC). I’m sure if the MPC had let the MOC know of their intention to do this the MOC would have placed another convenient button on the control panel for the intermediate popcorn bag (IPB).

Problem identified… So what is the solution???

1. We could be careful that in the future we purchase our microwave popcorn in only the prescribed 1.2 or 3.5 ounce packets.

2. We could buy another microwave with an additional setting for the IPB (2.4 oz. intermediate popcorn bag)

3. We could pop the corn on the 3.5 oz. setting and take it out before it burns.

4. We could ask congress to make it illegal to sell microwave popcorn in any size but 1.2 and 3.5 ounce bags.

5. We could ask congress to make it mandatory to purchase only the 3.5 ounce bags from a prescribed government exchange and fine us if we stop buying microwave popcorn.

I think I’ll just go with option 3 for now.

Next…

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BLOOD TRAIL

Hunting is a great pastime activity. In today’s world, with a few exceptions hunting isn't among the skill sets necessary to acquire our food and clothing. We are accustomed to 40 hour work weeks and the availability of less labor intensive hunting areas such as Walmart, Krogers and Sears. It’s much easier to work a job and then spend your money at a department store than to invest many hours studying, patterning, hunting, killing and preparing wild game for a few pounds of meat ,a hide and a set of horns. To those who don’t hunt it may look like a huge waste of time. Those of us who hunt know the benefit of the activity. It’s outdoors, usually solitary, relaxing, and requires preparation, diligence and discipline. (Kinda like a job) For those of us who hunt the rewards of relaxation and enjoyment outweigh, for the most part, all the hard work involved. One of the most important skills you can learn is blood trailing. In the daylight it is a relatively straightforward task after you find the first drop of blood. Each drop tells us something new. It can tell us weather the animal is moving or standing, If it’s moving which direction and how fast. It can tell us weather we should pursue quickly or allow it to rest. At times we can tell where the animal is wounded. There is certainly a good amount of satisfaction in the work, but probably the most rewarding part of the hunt is the stories we can tell. The things you notice while hunting, a bird you haven’t seen before, the antics of a squirrel or a fawn, the moment of the kill and the labor of retrieving your harvest.

My last hunt involved some blood trailing in the dark. As is common, my shot at a buck came just before sunset. I didn't like the placement of the shot so I waited until I thought he had gone out of earshot and hastily looked for the first blood sign I could find and marked it. I left it and went home to have a little supper and to get adequate lighting to follow the trail. When I came back I was able to quickly find the white tissue paper I had tied on a limb above the first drop of blood. Four hours and five hundred yards later I was privileged to retrieve the animal I had harvested.

I don’t want to bore you with all the details of a four hour tracking job but I do want to point out some interesting parallels to our Christian walk.

* Its important to pursue as quickly as possible. We must follow the trail with diligence unless we loose our harvest to other predators or scavengers. (2 Peter 1:10)

* What we see in the woods at night is completely different from what we are used to seeing during the day. The subtle yellows, greens and browns we see during the day becomes nearly monochromatic at night.

* The human eye is naturally drawn to the color red.

* At night there are different types of light, close in as from a gas lantern or a campfire, focused light as from a flashlight and the bluish white light of the moon on a really clear night. (Mat 5:14-16)

* Sometimes you will find yourself searching for the next drop of blood on your hands and knees.

* As you turn leaves over looking for the slightest trace of blood you may see a spot of red on the middle of a leaf. When you inspect more closely you discover it is a false drop. Maple leaves and others naturally have spots of red. I call them false drops. After a while you learn to recognize the difference between the real blood and the false trail randomly spread by the wind. (1 John 4:1)

* The real thing has the shine of authenticity. The more you see the real thing it becomes easier to recognize.

* Sometimes the trail is hidden by the forces of nature, rain, wind or animals. Even our own big feet can obliterate a blood trail. (Mark 4:4)

* At times you will loose the trail. At that point go back to the last drop of blood you found and begin searching in widening circles until you pick up the trail again.( Acts 17:27)

* Each step on the trail brings us closer to our harvest. (Philippians 3:14)

* Sometimes we need to go back to where we began and start the trailing process again from the beginning. We must ask ourselves questions about the important details. Was my shot really on the mark? Did I miss completely? Was the blood trail I was on actually real or was I fooled by the vagaries of nature? Once we assess where things truly stand we can either continue on the trail or begin the hunt again. (2 Cor. 13:2)