Boredom-Day 14
I know that I’m getting ever closer to that magic age when
those of us who have been active throughout our lives are supposed to slow down
and take it easy (retirement) but I wasn’t prepared for the reality of being
off for an extended period. I recently broke my foot while doing my pre-trip
preparation at work. The doctor said
that the type of break I had would be a career ending injury for a professional
athlete, (Good thing I’m not a professional athlete.) and that surgery would be
required for my foot to heal properly. Well, as some of you know, there isn’t a
simple process to get the medical and short term disability benefits started.
Since it happened at work I had to go through all the Workers Comp rigmarole so
that helped prolong the process. In any case it looks like I’ll be off work for
almost ten weeks. That’s a lot of time. I find my unoccupied mind wandering
from thought to thought and topic to topic. Every once in a while it lands on
something.
[I
compare this process to the actions observed when flies hitch a ride on a
manure spreader. When the manure spreader hits a bump they all get up and fly
around for a while and land somewhere completely different but still on the
manure spreader. (A similar behavior happens with people in corporate
management and in government.) I guess that
since I am the first person that I know of to record this phenomenon I get to
name it. I’m trying to figure out what to call it. Here are some of the possibilities:
“Manure Spreader Effect”, “Bumped Fly Syndrome”,” Hodges’ Distraction
Paradigm”.]
But I digress…
The other day while my unoccupied mind was flying around I
finally figured out why Valerie has been burning the microwave popcorn. It
seemed that my darling lovely wife was having trouble completing this simple
task without setting off the smoke detectors. You’re just supposed to put the
bag in, close the door, push the “POPCORN” button, press the “START” button,
wait until the microwave beeps, and take out the popped bag and enjoy…Right??? I even accused her of using the smoke alarms
as timers. Obviously there is a missing factor at work here. Why is the popcorn
burning even though published procedure is being followed? This was just the
sort of puzzle I needed to occupy my mind. Upon closer examination I found what
appears to be the underlying cause. It
seems that there are more than two sizes of microwave popcorn bags. We thought
there were only two sizes 1.2 and 3.5. Someone in the Microwave Popcorn Cartel
(MPC) has decided to package their delicious snack in an intermediate 2.4 oz.
size bag without telling the Microwave Oven Cartel (MOC). I’m sure if the MPC
had let the MOC know of their intention to do this the MOC would have placed
another convenient button on the control panel for the intermediate popcorn bag
(IPB).
Problem identified… So what is the solution???
1.
We could be careful that in the future we
purchase our microwave popcorn in only the prescribed 1.2 or 3.5 ounce packets.
2.
We could buy another microwave with an
additional setting for the IPB (2.4 oz. intermediate popcorn bag)
3.
We could pop the corn on the 3.5 oz. setting and
take it out before it burns.
4.
We could ask congress to make it illegal to sell
microwave popcorn in any size but 1.2 and 3.5 ounce bags.
5.
We could ask congress to make it mandatory to
purchase only the 3.5 ounce bags from a prescribed government exchange and fine
us if we stop buying microwave popcorn.
I think I’ll just go with option 3
for now.
Next…
GH
